Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Boyfriend Has Spending Problems . . . .

In the majority of relationships, you normally hear whining and crying from the guy about how much his crazy, money-careless girlfriend blows his hard earned wages on things that they don't need. As in most things in my life, my relationship is not normal. Okay, okay, I'll admit that I will occasionally spend money on a cute pair of shoes, an irrisistable hand bag or new hair products, and I get my nails done every two weeks, but these things are considered maintenance and simply don't count in the grand scheme of things. My boyfriend, on the other hand, will go on spending sprees that would make Paris Hilton proud. Take into consideration his latest purchase . . . .

I get home from work last night at 1:30 in the morning - no, it's not that kind of job - I'm a cocktail waitress at a local seafood restaurant. I'm tired, my feet are killing me, I smell like food and all I can think about is getting a shower and falling into bed. (The new king sized pillow top bed that Shorty bought last week on his day off. I'm building my case here.) I get to the top of the stairs, manage not to trip over the fuzzy black demon cat who's happily trying to wind his way through my legs, and jump in fright as Shorty pops his head out of our bedroom doorway. Keep in mind it's 1 in the morning - Shorty should be tucked into bed dreaming of Britney Spears in her sparkly, over-stretched, Cheeto dust covered black bikini. Grinning like a maniacal impluse buyer, he motions me into the bedroom to see what he just bought. We have a pretty sweet computer desk set up in our bedroom, complete with flat screen monitor. When we purchased our house two years ago, Shorty made the decision not to have a TV in our bedroom. I didn't argue with him on this one. If I let him win the smaller battles, it ups his self esteem and allows him to fool himself into thinking that he's the real decision maker in the home. So I stumble, exhausted and smelly, into our bedroom. Giggling with glee, Shorty proudly exhibits our new 32" flat screen computer monitor and proceeds to show off all the new features that we have. Not only can he play poker in high definition on a gigantic screen, we can watch TV in the bedroom now AND he slyly had Varsity Blues, one of my favorite movies of all time, playing.

I'll impulse-buy a new shampoo and conditioner or a new pair of shoes. SHORTY impulse-buys new beds, boats, 4 wheelers and 32" computer monitors. Maybe I need to start catching up . . . .

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

You know what time it is . . . .

The leaves are starting to turn, there's a crisp bite in the air. . . . you'll catch the faintest wisp of woodsmoke in the mornings as you head out to your car, there are beads of dew on your windshield . . . . my Chiefs are getting spanked by the likes of the Houston Texans . . . and your local Starbucks is featuring Pumpkin Spice lattes as the special of the day - that's right, it's PUMPKIN SPICE FLAVORED COFFEE CREAMER SEASON!! WOO HOO!!!!